


Tortuous Paths

by mushroomgirl



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sibling Incest, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27120961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushroomgirl/pseuds/mushroomgirl
Summary: A tragic love story ...
Relationships: Orophin/haldir legolas/haldir elladan/elrohir
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah ! So thiS is in fact My very first fic, written like fifteen years ago With My Wonderful partner in crime Cas, and which I thought had died somewhere on a floppy disk. Turns out I récently found it again on a website I thought no longer existed, so I am posting it hère for your enjoyment. The interludes are by lovely talented Cas, and after i post everything there is i think i may convince myself to write thé last chapters which are still lingering in my head ;)

It was very much unexpected, the storm which cracked over Imladris as the sun was casting its last rays on the Elven city. All the more unexpected as it had not been raining for weeks. It was the beginning of Autumn, and while many leaves had already taken on their golden garments, the air seemed as hot as it had been during the long summer days.  
  
Strikingly enough, the sudden change in the weather coincided with another event. Yet, unlike the former, it remained completely unnoticed by most of the inhabitants, busy as they were gathering and sheltering all the items which had been taken outside during the warm afternoon.  
  
The first bolt of thunder rumbled just as one tall, blond elf finished fastening the buckles of his saddlebag and, with one swift move, gracefully settled himself on the back of a gray mare. For a few seconds he let his gaze wander over the top windows of Lord Elrond's palace, a hint of pain clearly visible in his dark blue eyes. Then his face became unreadable again as he slowly lead the mare towards the gates of the city. As he eventually passed them without casting a single glance backwards, the downpour began.Heading eastwards, the blond rider urged his horse into a swifter pace, the rain trickling down his face providentially melting with the tears he had managed to hold back until then.  
  
Chapter 1 : Year 2968 of the Third Age  
  
If any sign of sadness had ever marred the strong, yet beautiful features of Haldir of Lorien, none was visible when he eventually entered the Golden Wood after his long journey on horseback. The old forest was exactly as he remembered : after almost five centuries, he could almost trace in his mind every path, every tree, and might even be able to notice if one bough had been cut off. Haldir inhaled deeply, and the scent of the millennia-aged mallorn trees around him was the scent of home. Although he should have been happy in these circumstances, Haldir merely felt relieved ; tired, yet relieved, and confident in the fact that if there ever were a single place in Middle Earth where he could tend to his wounds, it would surely be this one.  
  
Fluttering leaves, a wisp of air and all of a sudden five warriors were standing around the newcomer and his mount, aiming their silver-tipped arrows at him. Stern faces, two of which immediately melted into a radiant smile as they recognized the former March Warden of Lothlorien. R�mil, Haldir's youngest brother, and Elrond's son Elladan, his inseparable companion when they happened to meet in Lorien, literally threw themselves at the weary rider and almost cast him down in the process – a total loss of composure which was very uncommon among the Elven people. Finally regaining his balance, Haldir was grabbed by two strong pairs of arms as R�mil and Elladan, both laughing and crying at the same time, hugged him as their lives depended on it.  
  
"Gods! Haldir... it's so good to see you..." R�mil whispered in his brother's ear. "We had almost given up hope..."  
  
Haldir gently stepped back and gave both Elves the warmest smile he could manage, while silently beckoning to the other warriors, who had by then lowered their bows and were stealthily retreating into the trees so as to give them privacy.  
  
Haldir's voice came out calm and soft:  
  
"It has been a very long time indeed, though very short in Elven terms.... Perhaps it is so when you don't know if you'll ever get to see the ones you love again. I missed you dearly, my friends."  
  
"My father sent us a message three months ago that you had safely arrived at Imladris. We could not believe it was true... after all this time" – Elladan went on. "We would have gone to meet you there, but we thought you would come right back..." The raven-haired Elf's voice held a questioning tone  
  
"I had some matters to take care of."  
  
Haldir was not a man of many words in general, and the way in which he had pronounced the last sentence clearly showed that he did not want to dwell on the subject. So the question which was lingering in R�mil's mind died in his mouth before he could utter it. Haldir had been expecting it however, and feared he would soon have to give answers. But for the moment he was just glad it had been postponed, at least for a little while, and secretly thanked his brother for not being too intrusive. There would be time for explanations later, and also time to draw some comfort from those dear to him. At least he hoped so.  
  
Feeling his brother's slight uneasiness, Haldir gave R�mil's hand a warm squeeze. " Later, pen-neth... ". Then the three Elves headed off towards Caras Galadhon, the realm of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, Haldir's birthplace.  
  
"Where is Orophin?" Haldir suddenly asked.  
  
"Our brother has gone with Elrohir and a few other Galadhrims to hunt some restless Orcs on the Northern Borders" R�mil answered. "They should be back in a few days." R�mil paused. "Orophin will be glad to see you... He has been most affected by your...disappearance."  
  
Haldir remained silent and merely smiled. Caras Galadhon was now showing in the distance, and the sight of the silver city was like a soothing balm to his soul.  
  


* * *

  
  
Sitting cross-legged on the floor of his talan, Haldir was busy sharpening the blade of his old sword. He knew he was no longer the March Warden, but he was still part of the Lorien Guard in his heart and trusted he would eventually regain its former position amongst the Elven warriors, given time.  
  
Given time. .. Haldir let his thoughts wander while his hands were tending to the weapons, a task they had been used to doing for centuries. He had heard the very words from the mouth of the Lady Galadriel herself. She and the Lord Celeborn had summoned him the day after his arrival in Lorien, and the three of them had spent the whole afternoon speaking of what had happened, and what would. At first Haldir had felt reluctant to do so, but he knew he could not hide anything from the piercing gaze and loving hearts of his beloved sovereigns. With one look the lady had understood that the scars which ran across Haldir's body were nothing in comparison with the ones he bore deep inside his heart, and that they would need time to heal, if they ever were to. But there was still hope, she had whispered in his head, and peace and happiness would eventually worm their way again into Haldir's soul, even though he found it hard to believe.  
  
As for Lord Celeborn, he had kindly told Haldir, whom he loved like a son, that he wanted him to become again his leading captain as soon as possible, and had granted him the use of his former talan as a token of trust, which explained why he was about to spend the night there instead of in the tree house he still shared with his brothers while in the city.  
  
Haldir was actually anxious to resume fighting with his fellow comrades in arms and sincerely hoped that the training he was to join on the following day would keep his mind away from dark thoughts and memories. Given time... with these words full of hope lingering in his mind Haldir stood up, grasping his sword with both hands and set about striking slow and precise blows around him, the moonlight enhancing the well defined muscles of his bare chest and arms. The Galadhrim began to feel a surge of power inside of his body as the warrior in him gradually took precedence over the mere Elf.  
  
Then he suddenly froze, his Elven hearing warning him that someone was approaching his talan, and soon the impression was confirmed by the sound of light steps on the ladder rungs. Haldir stood on guard, slightly raising his sword, though he should have known that he was safe in the Golden Wood. He immediately lowered it when he recognized his unexpected guest.  
  
"Orophin..." Haldir whispered  
  
Still wearing his fighting garments, his younger brother was standing still on the edge of the talan, as if scared to take one single step forward, his delicate features showing surprise and incredulity. By the moment Haldir opened his mouth to invite him in, Orophin had thrown himself into his brother's arms, clinging to him as strongly as he could, as if to make sure that it was he, Haldir, standing in front of him and not a mere illusion. Haldir let his sword fall to the ground and returned the embrace, tangling his fingers into Orophin's silvery hair and gently caressing the nape of his neck. They stood like this for a few minutes without saying a word, when Haldir noticed a wetness on his cheek which was not coming from his own eyes.  
  
"Hush, my dearest" he gently whispered.  
  
Taking Haldir's hands into his, Orophin let go of him and his jade-green eyes locked with the other Elf's dark blue as he began speaking. "Haldir... I cannot believe it. I dare not believe that you are here in front of me..."  
  
"So it is my beloved brother. I am back at last."  
  
Orophin flung himself into Haldir's arms again and started crying in earnest, his words interrupted by heartbreaking sobs. "Gods, Haldir! I thought you were dead. I refused to believe it but then... we knew nothing of what had happened to you and Legolas..."  
  
Haldir flinched when Orophin mentioned the name, the familiar sting in his heart as strong as always, but he quickly dismissed it as he tried to focus on his brother's pained voice.  
  
"I prayed to the Valar day and night that somehow you would come back to us, I would have done anything to rescue you but we had no clue as to where you were. We thought you had been slain by Orcs or something. Such a long time without news..."  
  
Haldir knew not how to comfort his brother with words, so he merely held Orophin and laid gentle kisses on the Elf's cheek. "Haldir" Orophin whispered again "I thought I would never lay my eyes on your beautiful face again, that I would never hear your laughter... never feel your hands on my body anymore..."  
  
Haldir was startled at the words. It had been centuries since he had last woken up in the morning with Orophin's head cradled against his shoulder after a night of kisses and caresses. Such sensuous relationships between brothers were not uncommon among the Elves, especially when they came of age almost at the same time; yet, they never lasted for a very long time. In any case, siblings rarely mated, neither physically nor emotionally, and for Haldir and Orophin things had not been otherwise.  
  
Haldir suddenly understood that for his brother to utter such words, he most certainly found himself in a state of deep shock, for he knew that his heart was elsewhere - the same as was his, he bitterly thought. Haldir was going to say something, though he did not know exactly what, when he noticed that his brother's touch had changed. Orophin's fingers had once again entwined with his, and he was now placing kisses behind Haldir's ear, gently tickling it, in a way which was not as brotherly as it had been a few minutes ago.  
  
"Haldir... please..." Orophin breathed "let me stay with you tonight..."  
  
Haldir's mind became numb and he felt that he was unwillingly leaning into his brother's kisses, acutely aware of the warmth and strength of the beautiful body pressed against his. As Orophin slowly began to stroke his back and nibble at his collarbone, Haldir felt a dizziness wash over him. He suddenly thought of how good it would be to let his brother ease away his pain at least for a while, his senses almost overpowering his mind, all the pent up need in him struggling to be released. It took him every ounce of willpower to step back and regain control over his body. He gently placed his hands on Orophin's shoulders and gave him a warm, loving smile.  
  
"My fair one" he began "You know how much I care for you and how deeply I missed you. But let us not be mislead by the joy we feel at seeing each other again. I am not sure it would be wise to rekindle a long extinguished flame. Besides... - Haldir added in a more light-hearted tone – If I had such a beautiful creature as you , whom I love so much, sharing my bed tonight after so many months of loneliness... I don't think I would be able to behave properly..."  
  
After a few seconds Orophin eventually smiled back and covered Haldir's hands with his, slightly blushing.  
  
"You're right Haldir. You always are. I don't know what came over me. I was so afraid I would never see you again. Please forgive me..."  
  
"I have nothing to forgive you, melethron-nin" Haldir softly chuckled. "I missed you much as well."  
  
With these words Haldir leant in and softly placed his mouth on Orophin's lips. They kissed chastely for a few seconds, then Haldir slowly retreated, putting an end to the sweet mingling of their souls for fear he could wish for more if it lasted too long.  
  
"We'll see each other tomorrow for the training" Haldir eventually said, and Orophin headed towards the ladder.  
  
"Make sure you don't oversleep brother, or I'd have to come and wake you up!" Orophin winked over his shoulder.  
  
"Don't tempt me!" the older Elf replied, then Orophin was gone.  
  
Haldir suddenly felt very cold.  
  


* * *

  
  
Haldir awoke when a playful ray of light decided to land on his closed lids. He stifled a yawn and lazily stretched his numb body under the green blankets, which felt warm and soft against his naked limbs. He had slept well. Haldir reveled in the sensation. Usually his sleep was troubled by dark, unbidden memories of the months he had spent away from the Golden Wood, and he often awoke with a start when it was still dark outside, cold sweat bursting out all over his body, believing he still found himself in the damp, gloomy cell he had been locked in for countless nights. As he gradually came to full awareness, Haldir noticed that his skin was tingling all over. He was not unfamiliar with the sensation, yet he had not experienced it for quite a long time. It could only mean one thing : he had been dreaming of him. Or, to be more accurate, of them together. Perhaps it was because of Orophin's visit the evening before. The enticing closeness of his warm body, his soft breath in Haldir's ear, had summoned images of another blond warrior in his dreams.  
  
A strand of golden hair brushing his cheek... clear blue eyes shining with terror as dawn came... soft, soothing whispers... And the kisses...the mind-numbing, yet heartbreakingly sad kisses that were shared in the pitch black cell when it seemed that hope itself had turned its back on them forever. Kisses of comfort, kisses of despair they had been on one side, but on the other side stood Haldir, and to him,above all other meanings, they had been kisses of love.  
  
Love. Legolas. Both words held the same meaning for the Lorien Elf. He had had to wait almost five hundred years to discover the feeling, only to learn shortly after how much it could hurt...  
  
Love had long been a mystery for Haldir. He had of course surrendered many times to the passion and pleasures of physical love, and had felt great tenderness for most of his partners, whether male or female, but he had never experienced the sensation of loosing himself, body, mind and soul, into another being. Sadly enough, Haldir had often awoken deep longing in other hearts, some of whom had hardly recovered when it became obvious that their feelings were unrequited. As years went by, he had learnt to be more selective. Still, the lingering question in Lothlorien was always the same : who would win the heart of the handsome March Warden?  
  
For Haldir was indeed beautiful. Exceptionally attractive, even by Elven standards . He was tall and broad-chested, his strong, perfect limbs - the result of years and hundreds of years of training - strikingly contrasting with his delicate features, his blue eyes almost disappearing under jet black lashes, his pale blond hair falling into thick braids down his back; and every time he let it loose while bathing into the river, many were struck in awe at the sight of the warrior's body shrouded to the waist by a veil of gold and silver. Yet, what truly made Haldir special was the total control he had upon his emotions. Haldir was always in command, proud and unbending, both in war and in social life, and that earned him admiration and respect. Sometimes defiance as well, on the part of those who mistook his distant attitude for arrogance; yet Elves who got to know him well soon discovered the generous heart hidden under the apparent coldness.  
  
Haldir tried to push away the memories of Legolas and concentrate on the day ahead of him. He would soon have to leave his makeshift bed and join the others for training. His brothers would be there, and the sons of Elrond as well, for Orophin's presence last night meant that Elrohir, Elladan's twin brother, had also returned.  
  
Orophin... Haldir thought about his brother's sweet plea the evening before, and felt his heart melt. Haldir and Orophin shared a special bond; they always would. He loved R�mil equally as much, as did Orophin, but the feeling was different. Until quite recently, Orophin had been the only one for whom Haldir had let his guard fall. And still now, Orophin knew Haldir better than anyone; he had seen Haldir cry, both in sorrow and in pleasure, he had watched him tremble and moan as no one else would ever see him later on, he had felt his heartbeat close to his own times too numerous to count. Orophin was the only being Haldir could share everything with, without shame, without fear of being judged, always caring and tender, closer than kin.  
  
Haldir acutely felt the need to be with his brother in this very moment. How he would love to let his head rest on Orophin's shoulder and empty his troubled heart into his the other's understanding ear. Orophin would listen to him and find the right words to tell. He would comfort him and hold him close, chasing away, if only for a while, the dark clouds which threatened to drive Haldir mad. Orophin... Haldir's thoughts took him back to an afternoon a long time ago, a few months after their parents had decided to sail West, a time when R�mil was still only a little boy. The afternoon that changed it all... il 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago

> Authors Note: Originally written for the Haldir-Lives challenge. Feedback is always welcome.
> 
> Beta-ed by Tessy: Thanks

**Year 2518 of the Third Age.**

Haldir and Orophin were grown-ups already – not even two years apart,which was seldom the case for Elven siblings. Although they had joined the daily practice, they were not fighting among the Galhadrim warriors yet, and would only be allowed on the battlefield or to protect the borders of Lorien after the training process was fully completed, which would not take long.

On a very warm summer day, Haldir, Orophin and their companions had spent hours practicing archery and wrestling. After a light meal on the bank of the fair Nimrodel, they had felt the need to ease their tense muscles. Quickly discarding themselves of their dusty clothing,they had soon ended into the crystalline waters of the river, challenging themselves as to whom would dive deeper or swim faster, laughing and splashing around, as only those who still had one foot in childhood could do. Then, as warriors-to-be often did, they had started their favorite hide and seek game : half of the group were appointed "Orcs", while the others were the Galhadrims supposed to track them down. To their greatest discontent, Haldir and Orophin were named among the foes. They immediately started swimming upstream with a group of four Elves, then parted as Haldir led his brother towards the falls and the caves which were hiding behind. Swiftly progressing through the semi darkness in the now labyrinthine paths of the river, they eventually left the water and rose themselves to the rocky platforms, hoping to find the best hiding place. Many a time they almost slipped on the wet boulders, hurrying up as shouts were echoing in the distance.

As Orophin reached out to grab Haldir's hand, he realized that his brother was no longer beside him. The blond elf turned around, but Haldir was nowhere to be seen. He called out his name as softly as possible so as not to draw the hunters' attention, but got no answer. Orophin started to feel a little uneasy, not believing Haldir would choose this particular moment to play a trick on him. The situation became worse as he heard footsteps on the rocky path below, which were clearly not his brother's. Orophin moved backwards as silently as possible, carefully retreating to where he had come from. He suddenly froze; another Elf was coming in the opposite direction. He knew he was trapped, and at the same time he seriously began wondering where on earth his brother had disappeared. Orophin opened his mouth to call out for the others, not altogether disappointed that they had found him so that they may help him look for Haldir. Then he felt a strong hand grasp his upper arm and pull him back, while another hand covered his mouth to prevent him from making a sound. He did not try to shout anyway, as he realized he was in no danger. Haldir had dragged him through a kind of chink on the wall into what seemed to be a small cavity - for what Orophin could make out - where they might have a chance to remain unnoticed. Orophin smiled. Haldir never surrendered, he should have remembered that. Haldir stood perfectly still, holding Orophin firmly against him. He let go of his mouth, and the hand which was not around his brother's wrist now rested on his torso. He could hear the two other Elves' voices only a few inches away, and prayed that their Elven hearing would not catch the sound of his heartbeat. His heartbeat... how could his heart beat so fast? Haldir felt a strange dizziness which had nothing to do with the rush of adrenaline he had experienced a few seconds before. He suddenly became very aware of the warmth of his brother's body pressed against his, his soft wet hair brushing his face, the well-defined muscles of Orophin's chest under his palm, his equally wild heartbeat, and his buttocks resting against... Haldir tried to think of something, anything, preferably very disgusting, but it was too late already. Ashamed as he had never been, Haldir felt himself grow hard...

At the beginning, Orophin had thought they would never manage to escape the sharp senses of the other Elves. Then, as seconds dragged on without anyone peering into their hiding place, he began to believe that the danger was gone. He had not expected another kind of danger however. Goose bumps blossomed over his soft skin, and in spite of the warm air the young warrior began to shiver. As he unconsciously pressed himself closer to his brother's body, realization dawned. It was actually Haldir's closeness which induced his current trembling state. Orophin noticed an unfamiliar heat in his belly which seemed to increase every time Haldir's fingers moved over his chest ever so slightly. Feeling foolish, he silently prayed for the others to go away quickly so that he may escape before Haldir noticed something. Then Orophin mentally froze as he felt his brother stiffen against him. His heart skipped a beat and he barely repressed a moan as he started growing hard as well. There was nothing he could do about it; he could not move, not only because they would immediately be discovered – and in a very embarrassing state at that – but also because ... he simply did not wish to move. Orophin was taken aback at his own desire, and feeling Haldir equally aroused did not help him think coherently.

When their pursuers eventually left, Haldir caught a deep breath, but did not let go of Orophin - and Orophin did not move either. Against his better judgement, he simply could not let him go;. He was experiencing sensations he had never known to exist before this very moment, here in the wet cave, with his brother's naked body in his arms. He wanted to feel more... although he did not know exactly what. His hand started moving of its own volition across Orophin's torso, caressing him, eliciting soft moans from the younger Elf. Then it was Haldir's turn to moan in pleasure when Orophin took hold of his free hand, and slightly pushed backwards, gently rocking his hips. A voice in their heads told them to run away. They had no reason to stay there now that the others were gone, but the evidence of their mutual desire prevented them from doing so, knowing that explanations would be needed. So very ashamed and so very excited at the same time, their feet were nailed to the ground. Carried away by his brother's response, Haldir bit Orophin's shoulder none too gently, and Orophin briefly came back to his senses. It was too much; this could not be. He knew such things happened between siblings, but he had not imagined this would happen to him... to them. Orophin managed to step forward and the thought of running back to the camp as fast as he could briefly crossed his mind... then he secretly thanked the Valar when Haldir reached out for him and dragged him back in his arms, the only place he truly wanted – needed – to be in this moment.

The two Elves were now facing each other, trying to make out the other's features in the dark. If they had been able to see something, they would have discovered the same desire and fear burning in their eyes. With inexperienced hands Haldir circled Orophin's waist and pulled him against him, almost fainting with pleasure when he felt the length of Orophin's warm body and the firmness between his legs brush and press against his own. Orophin's mind was now completely overpowered by his senses; his hands clasped behind his brother's neck and his mouth feverishly searched – and found – Haldir's soft, inviting lips. The feel of his brother was so new, so strange, and yet so good. They started kissing greedily, too unaccustomed to the sensations which ran through their youthful bodies to take their time, and within a few seconds their lips parted and their tongues started dueling intimately. Between kisses and purrs, exploring hands and shivers, an unbearable need was building up inside of them. Still with his arms around Haldir's neck, Orophin started to stroke himself against his brother's erection, the friction between their aroused members threatening to bring them over the edge in a matter of seconds... Then Haldir grabbed Orophin's shoulders and abruptly pushed him away. The younger Elf let out a whimper, then felt a surge of panic when he heard, as Haldir had just had, the sound of footsteps coming quickly towards them and their companions calling out their names. Two slightly disheveled, but now seemingly very composed elves exited the cavity and joined their friends, not daring to look at each other while they made their way back to the river and further down to the campsite.

* * *

A few days after the incident, Celeborn summoned all the young Elves who were soon to become part of the Guard of Lorien to a private council. They gathered at sunset in the chamber where the Lord usually held his daily meetings, feeling slightly uneasy in front of the Elf they loved and respected most, yet whom they seldom got to see.

Celeborn informed them that they were very soon to depart to Imladris. As he had sometimes done in the past, his kinsman Elrond had decided to hold a huge gathering within the walls of his City, which all the younger warriors from Imladris, Mirkwood, the Grey Havens and Lorien were to attend. He believed it was a way for them to get to know and understand each other's customs better, and to share their knowledge in terms of fighting or healing techniques. Seventy three warriors from the four Elven kingdoms were expected to meet there, among whom twenty one from the Golden Wood. Celeborn had indeed decided that this little trip to Imladris was the perfect step before the ceremony which would take place in Lorien shortly after they had returned, and during which all the warriors would formally be integrated into the active Guard. The departure date was set for the following day, and the Lord informed the young Elves that all of their duties had been cancelled for the rest of the day so that they could get ready for the journey. Upon this he bade them farewell and eventually dismissed them.

As Haldir shut the door of his room behind him, closed his eyes and heaved a deep sigh. In other circumstances and faced with the perspective of such an exciting thing as this trip to Elrond's city, he and Orophin would have been running around, chatting and laughing while packing their belongings, imagining how Imladris would be and fighting over who would show the greatest skills once there. But he knew none of this would happen unless a miracle occurred. Since they had returned from the river a couple of days before, he and Orophin had barely exchanged a word. Even R�mil felt the uneasiness between his two older siblings when the Elf-maiden who took care of him left the three of them alone at the end of the day. He stared with huge questioning eyes when instead of playing together and ending up falling asleep in the same bed, either Orophin or Haldir chose to retire to his own room with a quick "good night", leaving a very distressed R�mil wondering what was wrong .

As much as Haldir hated the situation they found themselves in, he could not figure out what to do. He knew the two beings he loved more than life itself were grieving, although for very different reasons, and he felt it was his role as the elder to try and sort things out with Orophin so that everything would return to normality. But one thing prevented Haldir from asking Orophin to forgive him and to forget anything had ever happened between them, and this one thing made Haldir feel extremely guilty: as much as he tried, he could not convince himself that they had done something wrong. Worse, every time he laid his eyes on his brother he felt an urge to reach out for him and to hug him, to place butterfly kisses over his lovely face and to tell him that the memory of their brief encounter was one he would cherish forever. But the very few times Orophin's gaze had met his since the incident, he had only seen shame and pain instead of the love and joy which always filled his green eyes every time he was looking at his brother.

Haldir felt extremely guilty and at the same time he could not help but wondering why fate had been so cruel to him. He was no longer innocent enough not to have noticed sparkles of interest - and even of lust -in the eyes of other Elves around him. And yet, his slumbering sexuality had awoken at the touch of his own brother, of all people! Shaking himself out of his somber reverie, Haldir headed for his closet, yanked down a dusty leather travel bag – a gift from his mother a long time ago it seemed – and started packing.

* * *

It was still dark on the following morning when the twenty one warriors gathered on the outskirts of Caras Galadhon. An escort including five warriors of the Lorien Guard and one of Celeborn and Galadriel's official messengers were also there. Haldir and Orophin had left their tree house separately, and when Orophin deliberately chose a place in the riding party as remote as possible as Haldir's, the elder brother clearly understood that the upcoming trip was going to be a little strained.

He was right in that, as during the eleven days of their journey, whether they be riding or resting for the night in a makeshift camp, Haldir seldom had the opportunity to exchange more than a few words with his brother. As a consequence of this estrangement, he could not help being extremely irritable and distant even towards his most beloved companions, and some of them seriously began wondering what had come over their usually light-hearted and playful friend.

When Haldir first caught a glimpse of Rivendell however, he was struck in awe at the sight of the place he had been told so many tales about, and forgot for an instant all his brooding thoughts. The fair Elven city was shrouded in the golden light of the setting sun, with its wonderfully elaborate buildings interwoven with all the natural elements flourishing there, and was indeed impressive enough to leave the young Elf that he still was without words. How different from Caras Galadhon was the realm of his Lady's son in law! And yet, how friendly were the – mostly -dark-haired Elves which came to greet and welcome them!

Soon their weary horses were lead to the stables and the group was guided through the paths of the city to a big courtyard which was bustling with representatives from the four Elven realms of Middle Earth, all clad in their best fighting garments. A tall, dark-haired Elf whose name was Erestor – as Haldir learnt later on – was striving to catch the assembly's attention. When the racket eventually abated, he cleared his voice and began speaking.

"Friends from afar, our beloved Lord Elrond bids you welcome to Imladris. It is our great pleasure and honor to have you join this festival. Although the city is still foreign to most of you, we hope you'll soon learn to know and love it as much as we do. Tonight our Lord will preside over a great banquet during which the schedule of the upcoming events will be presented to you" Erestor paused a little while " But right now dear friends, please allow my assistants to show you the quarters that will be yours for the duration of your stay, for I am sure you will appreciate some rest after such a long journey. Again, welcome, and see you tonight at the feast"

With these final words Erestor beckoned to the Elves who had taken place beside him and they hastily walked towards the group of newcomers they were supposed to take care of. Haldir, who was still enthralled by his new surroundings, barely noticed when one of them approached Quendendil -the Lorien guard who had taken the lead of their party - and they started commenting on a piece of white parchment he had just unrolled....

* * *

"Third corridor on the left... No, second corridor on the left and third door on the right... that's it!!". Haldir had great difficulties remembering the exact location of his room. First of all, because when he had been shown the way to his quarters earlier in the evening he had not paid the necessary amount of attention to the indications he had been given. He had barely tossed his bag inside without a second glance, eager as he was to visit the palace and most especially the Bath House. Secondly because his most vivid – and the word was highly inappropriate – memory of the banquet he had just left was when an Elven maid had filled his glass with miruvor for the eleventh time ... or was it twelfth? Haldir seldom indulged in drinking, but this night he had seriously broken the rule and outdone himself. The world around him seemed a bizarre succession of archways and swaying walls. As he finally stood before a well-crafted oak door, a flash of recognition made its way through the haze that was currently surrounding his mind, and Haldir knew that he had somewhat managed to reach his room.

He fumbled with the latch for a few seconds until the door opened with a soft creaking, and the last thing he knew he was trying to regain some semblance of balance by leaning against the now closed wooden panel. After the dizziness wore off, the youngEelf carefully reopened his eyes for fear the world would go spinning once more, then froze.

If Haldir had ever found himself in state of drunkenness before, all traces of his previous condition immediately vanished as his gaze met with that of the bare-chested Elf standing in front of him, who was currently folding his tunic on the bed.

"W-what.. are you doing here?" Haldir stammered out.

"I might ask you the same question, brother" Orophin uttered, incredulity showing on his pale face.

"Well... this is my room... I guess..." Haldir went on.

" Then it appears it is mine as well ..."

There was a lasting silence in the dimly lit room while the two brothers grappled with the unexpected predicament they happened to find themselves in. Somewhere in a remote corner of their mind was the assumption that Elrond had found it suitable not to separate brothers who were most likely used to living together, but for both of the now shaking Elves the predominant - and very disturbing - idea was that of having to face their respective and nonetheless mutual fears.

Without a word, a very self-conscious Orophin turned his back on his bewildered brother and resumed shedding his remaining clothes, then briefly hesitated before slipping on one of the two pairs of night shirts and leggings which had been left on a valet for them to use. Haldir carefully averted his gaze, then felt a pang when he eventually saw a fully-clothed Orophin step under the blankets on the right side of the bed, as he always did even when he slept alone.

Never, ever, in the countless nights they had spent together, had they been wearing a single item of clothing, and Orophin's urge to do so now spoke volumes of the barrier standing between the two brothers, far more than any word or action might do.

Haldir quickly took off his cloak and clothes as well, put on his own night garments and clumsily sat on the edge of the bed opposite to Orophin's. He clearly heard Orophin gasp when he carefully lifted the sheets over his shoulders. Haldir felt like crying. Everything was so wrong. He was there trying to make himself as tiny as possible, fearing even the slightest contact with Orophin as he settled into his usual sleeping position, when they would normally have embraced before exchanging a sweet goodnight kiss.

Tossing and turning helplessly, Haldir soon discovered that he could not sleep, and could tell by the unsteady rhythm of Orophin's breath that the younger Elf was not sleeping either. Haldir first pretended he had not noticed. Then an unexpected - and most probably wine-induced -courage filled his heart and he eventually ventured to say something.

"Orophin... I know you do not wish to speak to me but there is something I need you to know. You are my brother and I love you more than anything, except perhaps R�mil. I guess you hate me and feel disgusted by what has happened, and I am truly sorry for it. I would do anything within my power to erase that but I cannot. As much as I would like to, I cannot". Haldir paused. "But there is one thing I know, you mean everything to me and I don't want to lose you." As he started speaking, tears welled up in Haldir's eyes and while he uttered the last words, his voice was interrupted by sobs. The only thing he knew after that was Orophin's hand upon his cheek and a soothing, yet grief-stricken voice in his hear.

"Hush, Haldir, please. I am here. I love you... I love you so much.. Please don't cry... I am sorry.. It is not your fault. I can't stand to be at odds with you, I love you..." These words, over and over again from his brother's mouth, were like heaven for Haldir. Still crying he flung his arm over Orophin's chest and clung to him as strongly as he could. His own tears disappeared into the younger Elf's shirt and Haldir soon felt a similar wetness reaching through his hair. Orophin went on:

"I could never hate you, Haldir. Never. It is myself whom I hate...." Haldir flinched at the words. " Yes, I hate myself because since what happened... I cannot keep my eyes off you. I cannot look upon you without wanting to hold you and kiss you and feel your body against mine... It's like a spell has come over me... I know it's wrong ... It is a torture even to be alone with you in the same room. I stayed away only because I ..."

Orophin's abruptly stopped when he felt Haldir's grip on his arm tighten. Then his heart skipped a beat when the older Elf cupped his face, stroking his thumbs over the soft skin to try and calm his brother.

"Orophin, I feel the same. I...you are so desirable to me, gwadur-nin... it's driving me mad! " He felt Orophin press his hand into his under the sheets and their fingers entwined. His voice was barely above a whisper when he shyly asked "What are we going to do Haldir?"

Haldir's heartbeat picked up a pace and he sighed deeply. Then, as the emotions raging inside his body eventually overpowered any rational though, he rose his head and closed the gap between their flushed faces. Orophin instinctively shut his eyes as he felt soft lips brush across his own, and hesitantly raised his hand to touch Haldir's hair, gently caressing it, reveling in the silky sensation.

"How could that be wrong?" Haldir whispered before leaning in for another feather-light kiss.

As the kiss deepened, fuelling the fire burning in their loins, Haldir moved atop Orophin's body, eliciting a muffled moan from the younger Elf. The heat radiating from Orophin's flesh was burning him through the thin fabric, and when his brother slightly spread his legs, Haldir sunk between them, gasping for breath as he felt Orophin's erect length against his own. Lifting the hem of Orophin's shirt, he plunged questioning eyes into his brother's, who silently nodded and raised his arms over his head. Then Haldir knelt back and slowly removed the offensive item, breaking eye contact only the instant Orophin's face was covered with the shirt. Marveling at the younger Elf's pale chest as if he saw it for the first time, Haldir drew a deep breath and leant in to kiss Orophin's neck, gently nibbling at his collarbone, while his brother in turn freed him from the piece of clothing he should never have had to put on in the first place.

Haldir rolled onto his side and Orophin turned to face him. Love and fear were shining bright in their eyes as they drank in the passion written across their faces. Pulling Orophin in for another kiss, Haldir let his other hand roam freely over the back of the enticing body which had so often haunted his thoughts in the past few days. Orophin draped his leg over Haldir's hip, and suddenly broke the kiss, his head rolling back in pleasure, when Haldir eagerly pushed his hips against his brother's. Grinding their arousals together, Haldir let his hands slip beneath the backside of Orophin's leggings, cupping his firm buttocks and pressing him closer against him. Breathless, Orophin mirrored his brother's action, and both moaned loudly as they started peeling their leggings down, thus getting rid of the last barrier standing between them, before clumsily tossing them to the end of the bed, where the sheets and blankets had ended a few minutes before.

Haldir lowered his eyes and was mesmerized by the creamy expanse of Orophin's naked body next to his, a body he had seen so many times without ever actually looking at it, an utterly perfect body he now rediscovered with the eyes of a lover. Blushing under Haldir's hot scrutiny, Orophin raised his hand to slightly tilt Haldir's chin up. He hesitated only a split-second, then his intense gaze locked with Haldir's before he breathed two little words which sent a shiver down Haldir's spine.

"Touch me..."

Haldir nervously bit his lower lip. It seemed to him he had lived all his life only to hear this sweetest request fall from Orophin's beautiful mouth, yet he was afraid to do the next move for fear he could ruin everything. Then the world seemed to crumble around him as he felt Orophin's slender fingers wrap around his hardened length.

"Touch me...like that..." he boldly whispered, and caught his brother's lips into his once more.

"Gods... Orophin..." the name was merely a breathless gasp as Haldir felt jolts of fire coursing through his body. Tongues never ceased teasing and dueling as their hands moved in a synchronized motion, and soon loud moans of pleasure escaped the two lovers' lips as they discovered together the true meaning of ecstasy.

* * *

Orophin's snuggled into his Haldir's warm chest and the older Elf placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He took his brother's hand in his and placed it over his heart, holding it close.

"Orophin ?..."

"Mmm.."

"I love you..."

"I love you too. Promise we'll never fight again.."

"Never." With a final kiss on Orophin's hair, Haldir peacefully drifted to sleep.

During the 450 years which followed, there was never a serious argument between the two brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope You enjoyed thiS part


	3. Chapter 3

**Year 2968 of the Third Age. Lorien**  
  
Haldir slid his sword into the sheath he had fastened on the leather belt around his waist. As he bent down to pick up his bow, he heard two familiar voices calling his name from beneath the tree. Haldir's smile broadened as he lowered the ladder. In a matter of seconds, R�mil and Orophin stood in front of him with merry and excited looks on their faces. The three of them linked hands and remained silent for a while, merely enjoying the presence of the others. With a twinkle in his eyes that only Haldir could notice, Orophin was the first to speak.  
  
"So it seems there was no need to come and wake you up, brother!.."  
  
Haldir chuckled, thinking about where his mind had been only moments ago. Instead of teasing him, Orophin would surely be blushing right now if he knew how close the reasonable elder brother had been to purposely oversleep in order to have the younger one wake him up!  
  
Haldir pouted innocently before answering.  
  
"Indeed, no... I could barely wait to join you down there and show you who the master is!"  
  
He was rewarded for his bold comment by two simultaneous punches on the chest as his "most offended" brothers retaliated. An unexpected feeling of tenderness suddenly filled Haldir's heart, and R�mil and Orophin were bewildered when instead of joining in the mock fight, Haldir encircled their shoulders and pulled them into his arms.  
  
"I love you both so much" he whispered, hugging them tight to his chest.  
  


* * *

  
  
Following R�mil, Haldir entered the archery practice field where all the Lorien guards who were not on duty would soon gather. They had parted with Orophin only minutes before, after his captain summoned him to replace another warrior who had been wounded after an unpleasant encounter with starving wargs. Orophin had quickly clasped his brothers' hands, wishing them good luck before hurriedly leaving to join his detachment. Haldir and R�mil were somewhat disappointed that the three of them would not spend this special day together.  
  
Haldir felt slightly nervous. The situation he found himself in was quite unsettling. Of course, he knew he had nothing to prove, and that his companions – his friends, for the most part – would never do or say anything to make him uneasy. There was a little problem however. Being back after some time away for official purposes was one thing. Being back from the Halls of Mandos – or from whatever inferno people thought Haldir and Legolas had disappeared in – was another.  
  
Sensing Haldir's nervousness, R�mil looked at his brother and started speaking matter-of-factly, laying his engraved bow against the trunk of an old birch tree.  
  
"Yesterday afternoon I had a very interesting conversation with Tulcandil, you know..."  
  
" Eruntalon's brother? About what?"  
  
"About you Haldir."  
  
"Surely you could have chosen a more interesting topic..."  
  
"No Haldir, I'm serious! I told him you would join us today and he asked me for what ..."  
  
Haldir was puzzled. A smile crept over R�mil's lips .  
  
"He told me he did not understand why you would join us for the training... he said you would still outdo every single archer in Lorien AND Mirkwood even if you spent a century without touching a bow..."  
  
Haldir slightly blushed – something he seldom did. R�mil looked him in the eyes.  
  
"Haldir, for all of us you ARE the March Warden... I trust you with my very life..."  
  
"And I would gladly give mine to save yours, pen-neth. Still I need to prove them that I haven't lost all the abilities they praise me for..."  
  
R�mil's light green gaze became more intense, as if wanting to reach his brother's soul with his words.  
  
"No, Haldir. You need to prove it to yourself..."  
  
Reading other people's hearts had never been one of R�mil's most outstanding talents. Yet he could have bet everything he owned that his brother was still struggling to come to terms with what had happened the winter before. He was sure he blamed himself for it, and for what had come of it alike. All R�mil knew about the dreadful circumstances of Haldir and Legolas' abduction came partly from what Galadriel's mirror had revealed, and partly from what the messenger who had brought the news of their reappearance had witnessed in Imladris. All in all, this amounted to nothing : Haldir and Legolas had been attacked and kidnapped while they were patrolling together, and they had somehow managed to escape and get back to Elrond's city alive, although a mysterious disease was seriously endangering Legolas's life.  
  
What had happened in the meantime, nobody had a clue about it, except perhaps Lord Elrond himself. Whenever Galadriel had tried to find out where the two friends had been taken, her mirror had not yielded any image, the water remaining completely clear. The Lady had come to the conclusion that some dark magical forces were at work, refusing to acknowledge what most people thought : that they were dead.  
  
R�mil did not know much about the current state of the Prince of Mirkwood either. He had not found the occasion – or perhaps he had not worked up the courage- to ask Haldir about it. He was sure, however, that something had occurred between Legolas and his brother, for Haldir to leave the prince's side and come back to Lorien alone.  
  
R�mil, together with Orophin, Elladan and Elrohir – and perhaps Galadriel - were the only Elves aware of Haldir's true feelings for Legolas. The Prince himself had no idea that Haldir's friendship had long turned into something stronger and much deeper. R�mil knew as well that in case something terrible happened to Legolas as a consequence of Haldir's supposed failure to protect him, the proud Galadhrim would spend the rest of his life blaming himself for it.  
  
"Perhaps I should try to speak with him when we are alone tonight..." R�mil thought.  
  
Almost unwillingly, Haldir was scrutinizing his brother's face, knowing perfectly which thoughts were currently running through his mind, and dreading the fact that he would soon have to speak to R�mil. To Orophin as well. And to the twins, who cared so much for him. They all deserved an explanation. As much as he wished to postpone this moment Haldir would have to do it one day or the other. So perhaps the best option was to get it over with very soon, – and never to speak of it again. Haldir had no doubt his brothers would understand. This was not a problem. But because of their love for him he feared that giving them all the details would drive them mad with anger, and that they might plan some foolish expedition in order to avenge their brother and friend. Perhaps he should give them a watered-down version of the events... Vengeance was his and his alone, and the right moment would come when...  
  
Haldir suddenly noticed a radical change on R�mil's face. His brother was now looking over Haldir's shoulder with sparkling eyes, and his brooding expression had melted into a radiant smile. Haldir had no need to turn around to know what this could mean, but he nevertheless did, preparing himself to give his friend Elrohir the warmest greeting.  
  
Had not it been for R�mil's reaction, Haldir could not have told whether the raven-haired Elf who was striding towards them with a bright smile on his face was Elladan or Elrohir. In fact, he could only tell them apart eyes - while Elrohir's were brown - and he was wilder, more outgoing than his minutes younger twin, who had always been the calmer and more thoughtful of the two. Yet, what a pair of fiery warriors they were, sharing the same determination and courage in battle.  
  
Haldir remembered the first time he had seen them : the day after he and Orophin had made peace in Imladris, during the morning meal. They were sitting on each side of their father, and the Lorien Elf perfectly remembered the curious looks he and his newfound lover had exchanged when seeing such mirrored perfection. Over the following centuries and even though they were more than 2000 years apart, the twin stars of Imladris had befriended the silver-haired brothers, who had shared Elladan and Elrohir's grief when the news of Celebrian's agony had reached the Golden Wood. Now each time their frequent raids led them to Caradhras and Moria, or when Arwen decided to spend sometime in Caras Galadhon, the twins never failed to stop for a while in Lorien, always happy to spend some time with Haldir, Orophin and R�mil. Especially R�mil, as far as Elrohir was concerned...  
  
"My friend..." Elrohir was now hugging Haldir, looking over his shoulder to give a silent nod to R�mil, who merely smiled, the love shining in his eyes mirrored into the Peredhil's. Eager as he was to join his brothers, R�mil had left his talan before dawn, disentangling himself from Elrohir's sleeping form and placing a quick kiss on the dark-haired Elf's forehead. Now that his lover stood in front of him, R�mil felt the urge to make up for sneaking out earlier, but he would not do so in public. Not when Haldir was grieving. And certainly not in front of the other Galadhrims who were now entering the clearing.  
  
It was a joyful reunion. Softly spoken words. Haldir was back. The March Warden was back. The sun was shining bright. Rustling leaves in the cool morning breeze. Smiles. Peacefulness. Almost...  
  
  
Steadying his bow, Haldir caught his breath and let the silver-tipped arrow fly through the afternoon air. The target shook when it was hit square in the eye for the umpteenth time. Repeatedly drawing arrows from his now almost empty quiver, Haldir shot again, slitting the previous shaft. And again. His arm was almost numb, but his heart and body were swelling with anger, and the far away mark was the perfect outlet. The world around him ceased to exist. He was alone. Only him and his demons. Haldir started walking, shooting relentlessly.  
  
Closer. At point blank range.  
  
Unaware of the worried looks of his friends, whose attention had been drawn to the Galadhrim's uncanny behavior, Haldir let his bow fall to the ground, staring at the mark. His vision blurred. He was no longer in the clearing. Dark, cruel eyes were staring at him. A contemptuous smile. Deceptively fair features. A wail. Someone was in pain...  
  
Legolas was in pain... He had to help Legolas! But he could not... could he? With a howl of rage, Haldir grabbed the pommel of his sword and unsheathed it.  
  
A strong hand grabbed R�mil's wrist as he was about to dart across the clearing. Startled, he looked at Elrohir. The dark-haired Elf shook his head, a grave look on his face.  
  
"Let it be, melethron-nin...".  
  
Elrohir strengthened his grip as R�mil watched his brother tear the mark into pieces with his sword until it was reduced to a mere heap of straw and broken arrows. Only then did he release his lover's arm. R�mil stood still, not knowing what would happen next.  
  
Haldir sank to the ground, kneeling in front of the shattered pieces of the target. The sword fell on his side. He grasped a handful of straw and stared blankly, barely noticing the anger subside and eventually leave his body. He opened his hand. Wisps of straw were swept away by a sudden blast of wind like golden strands of hair.  
  
Lost forever... Then Haldir began to cry. Burning tears rolled down his cheeks.  
  
Strong arms encircled him.  
  
He did not feel them.  
  
Comforting whispers.  
  
He did not hear them.  
  
He sobbed during what seemed an eternity. Then, little by little, raw pain left his heart and relief crept over him. He blinked twice and focused on the concerned faces on each side of him.  
  
R�mil and Elrohir. His beloved brother and his true friend. He was ready.  
  
Haldir got up from his knees and straightened his cloak.  
  
"I would like to talk to you in private". A steady voice.  
  
R�mil and Elrohir nodded.  
  
The three of them left the practice field after R�mil made sure Tulcandil would go and fetch Orophin and Elladan on the borders.  
  
This was going to be a long evening.


End file.
